(Originally published in Rocky Mountain Bullhorn)
The Farrelly Brothers harnessed most of their scatological impulses for 2001’s sweet, mildly gross romantic comedy Shallow Hal, but they dive headfirst into aw-shucks sentimentality with Stuck on You, an inoffensive one-joke valentine to freaks and geeks. The story of conjoined twins – shy, athletic Bob (Matt Damon), and outgoing actor and ladies’ man Walt (Greg Kinnear) – who decide to abandon their cozy small-town life in Martha’s Vineyard for Hollywood so Walt can become a star, the film is a perfectly pleasant experience…if what you’re looking for is a cute movie that’s just not interested in being very funny.
Watching Bob and Walt take a shower, sleep, and have sex might address the moviegoing public’s nagging questions about how conjoined twins handle life’s numerous everyday tasks, but Stuck on You’s trite message about being comfortable with who you are quickly becomes a drag. I don’t want the Farrelly’s newfound Hallmark squishiness; I want to laugh at bodily-fluid jokes! Cher’s presence as a self-parodying mega-bitch occasionally resuscitates the film from mushy sentimentality, and Meryl Streep flashes her underutilized comedic timing during a climactic cameo involving Walt’s entertainingly hokey “Bonnie and Clyde: The Musical.” Yet in the end, the Farrelly’s only noteworthy accomplishment is casting the smoking hot Eva Mendes as Walt’s bimbo actress girlfriend. She may have little to do other than smile cheerfully and prance around in skimpy halter tops, but given this bland disappointment’s yuck-free treacle, at least Mendes provides a reason to keep one’s eyes stuck to the screen.