50 First Dates (2004): C-

Unless you like your romantic comedies light on romance and even lighter on comedy, I’d suggest shunning Adam Sandler’s 50 First Dates at all costs. Although it reunites Sandler and Barrymore (who previously paired up in the superior, but still mediocre, The Wedding Singer), this dopey film has virtually nothing going for it but its genial stars...who, from the implausible beginning involving Sandler and a walrus to its even-less believable happy ending in frigid Alaska, share zero chemistry. The story – about a penguin-loving Hawaii veterinarian (Sandler) in love with a cute girl (Barrymore) who, because of a car accident, has short-term amnesia that makes her forget each day once she goes to sleep – is make-believe garbage that’s so stupidly contrived, it’ll have you wanting to strangle yourself with a lei. The syrupy script – which has Sandler wooing Barrymore over and over again each morning – would be tolerable if it offered a single funny moment. It doesn’t. Ever. Rob Schneider and Sandler’s usual cast of no-name buddies appear in dull supporting roles (Note to Schneider: as time goes on, acting like a stupid stoner seems less and less like acting), but after fifteen minutes of lazy one-liners and annoyingly wacky side characters (check out Sandler’s creepy androgynous co-worker!), it becomes obvious that Sandler peaked as a comedian with Happy Gilmore. In the immortal words of a kid from Billy Madison, 50 First Dates is most assuredly “retarded or something.”