Godsend (2004): C

Here are the three things I learned from Nick Hamm’s Godsend: Don’t ever let your kid hang out alone on a New York City sidewalk while you sign a credit card receipt in a store; don’t ever trust Robert DeNiro if he offers you a deal too good to be true; and don’t ever attempt to clone your child unless you’re absolutely sure that the test tube tyke won’t be demonic. Somewhere inside this idiotic horror-thriller is a debate about the moral implications of human cloning, but Hamm’s allegiance is to frightening, not enlightening, his audience. Unfortunately, that goal goes wholly unaccomplished. Greg Kinnear and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos are Manhattan parents who partake in Dr. DeNiro’s 21st-century Frankenstein experiment when their 8-year old son is killed in an accident, but after relocating to the quiet, anonymous suburbs with their new baby, they slowly learn that their genetically manipulated offspring may have a nasty little satanic streak. Alas, the kid (Cameron Bright) – despite a naturally disturbing face (check out how far apart his eyes are!) – is no Damien, Godsend is no The Omen, and this pudgy, obvious DeNiro is definitely not the one I grew up admiring.