Poseidon (2006): C-

Of all the objectionable aspects of Poseidon, Wolfgang Peterson’s remake of 1972’s disaster classic The Poseidon Adventure, the most noxious is the revelation that Kurt Russell’s Robert Ramsey – aiding survivors aboard the titular luxury cruiser after it’s flipped upside-down by a “rogue wave” – happens to be a Giuliani-esque former mayor of New York City. Such shamelessly facile 9/11 allusions are emblematic of this soggy fiasco, which not only finds itself weighted down by leaden performances and unspectacular CG-aided effects, but also proves to be a literally whitewashed affair. With Andre Braugher’s captain following protocol all the way to his grave (African-American-loving Black Eyed Pea Fergie by his side), Poseidon’s minority contingent winds up being two Hispanic characters and suicidal homosexual Richard Nelson (Richard Dreyfus), with the former given quick, unceremonious deaths and the latter relegated to mere hanger-on status amidst pro gambler Dylan Johns’ (Josh Lucas) macho feats of derring-do. Its ever-present underlying racial politics mirroring those of dunderheaded ‘80s B-horror movies – in which non-whites are, as the cliché goes, always the first to perish – Peterson’s dud plows through its heroes’ navigation of flooded compartments, claustrophobic air ducts and fiery rooms with a general absence of clever scripting or character development. Still, considering that when Poseidon isn’t loud and monotonous, it’s busy reimagining the Titanic as a ship whose above-deck passengers deserve to live far more than their below-deck counterparts, at least the limp film, at a swift 98 minutes, is a good twenty shorter than its predecessor.

Comments

[Jaiden Rosen]

Saw this thing the other day, and I cannot agree with you more. Racism and homophobia are among its many crimes.

That I didn't care a whit for any of the characters, that the deaths of the folks who parrished actually caused laughter in the audience I was in, that one of the character dies and then the body sloshes over and 'saves' everyone, ewww!

Stay away! Stay away!

[wendy]

gotta love Kurt Rusell!

[mike]

You have got to be kidding, right? While it was not a very good movie, you are really stretching it to call it racist. You obviously see racism everywhere you look, which leads me to think that you must be the one with the problem.

[Lisa]

In an early scene of the movie when we first meet the two Hispanic characters I turned to my friend and joking said they are probably going to be the first to go. I was shocked that I was right!!! As a minority myself it’s good to see that I am expendable in disasters. This movie is horrible and way too much in your face death to be entertaining. Rent the original!

[Astro Boye]

I was struck by the (if not the racial bias) offhanded and pitiless treatment of the ethnic minorities in this film. The glamorous crowd at the gala ball sprinkled with an ethnic minority here and there compared with the white uniformed ship staff that looked like a united nations convention minus the white people(did you notice none of the white uniforms were dirty as they actually would be if they worked in kitchens and below decks?). Rather than see this movie I would recommend renting the original or better yet reading the Paul Gallico novel. Even he saw fit to allow a non-English speaking below deck worker to survive the aquatic holocaust.