The Expendables
opens with lights emerging out of darkness but, alas, there’s no luster to the stars
corralled by Sylvester Stallone for this wannabe-throwback to Reagan-era macho
mayhem. For this few-against-many adventure, Stallone surrounds himself with musclebound
cohorts, from 21st century stud Jason Statham, to a host of old vets
(Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Eric Roberts, a cameoing Bruce Willis
and Arnold Schwarzenegger), to non-actor juiceheads (former WWE bruiser Steve
Austin and MMA legend Randy Couture). Yet despite this abundance of ripped abs
and veiny biceps, it’s the inexpressive puffy, leathery face of Stallone that’s
most indicative of this fiasco, which concerns a group of mercenaries hired to
overthrow an anonymous Latin American island’s dictator (David Zayas) and the
rogue American (Roberts) funding him. Whereas Stallone’s Rambo took the easy way out by pitting its hero against
uncomplicated real-world villains, the star/writer/director’s latest eschews
reality altogether for make-believe locales, bad guys and conflicts, thereby
denying the proceedings of the very contemporary undercurrents that might have
energized its rote good-vs.-evil premise. Statham exacts revenge against his
ex’s abusive new beau, Jet Li makes jokes about his diminutive size, and
Stallone learns to “believe in something” via his feelings for the fetching daughter
of the island’s tyrant. Yet aside from a heartfelt speech about maintaining
convictions in the face of wartime carnage by Rourke’s grizzled tattoo artist, The Expendables offers up neither
clearly delineated characters nor any fundamental character of its own, content
as it is to merely engage in unimaginatively choreographed, incoherently edited,
wholly uninspired bouts of shooting, punching and things exploding. Unlike The A-Team, Stallone can’t seem to
remember that the most entertaining ‘80s tough-guy sagas weren’t notable just
for mindless carnage and bluster, but also for clever (or cleverly ludicrous)
scenarios, imaginative centerpieces and rollicking humor. Although in his
defense, his faulty memory is likely due to the fact that almost none of those
standout ‘80s efforts ever featured him as a headliner.
Unbelievable that this man won a Best Picture Oscar for a movie he wrote - Rocky! I am a fan of Stallone's mainly because there is always some sort of "heart" to his screenplays. Even his last Rocky movie had heart when he upbraided his son on the street. But this just seemed like an attempt to regain some of the vanity he enjoyed in the 80's without the effort he put into those films. D+ in my estimation.
Posted by: Republic Monetary | August 23, 2010 at 08:35 PM